130,000 missing boobs located in Melbourne

Finally! The 130,000 missing boobs have been located after a week of searching! The inflatable breast pairs, shipped from China for promotional use by the Australian men's magazine "Ralph", were mistakenly shipped to Melbourne instead of Sydney. Per this, Workers are now frantically working to put them in bags to go out with the December 15 issue... The magazine is expected to break the Guinness world record for the most boobs given away at one time. Apparently it's an "Ozzie" thing.

Video: Hall & Oates roast Alan Colmes on Jon Stewart Daily Show

On last night's Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Hall & Oates made a surprise appearance to wish Alan Colmes a happy good-bye after years of hosting Hannity & Colmes on Fox News. Unfortunately, they referred to him as a "token liberal", the "barest shadow of a person", the "only non-douchebag on that show", and more. Full lyrics and the catty reply from Hannity below. Here's the video:

Preston Hollow, Texas declared National Disaster Area, International Law-Free Zone on same day

Preston Hollow - a very rich North Dallas Texas neighborhood - has today been declared both a National Disaster Area and a International Law-Free Zone. And, for the same reason: America's beloved president George W. Bush has bought a house there. An aerial picture of the shabby estate is here; better hire Hank Hill to take care of that lawn. It's only on 1.13 acres, which is probably smaller than one of Martha Stewart's abatoirs.

Scariest Amy Winehouse photo ever

Below this filler text is the single most scary picture of British pop starlet Amy Winehouse ever. The photo is so scary that this filler text is only here to prepare you and give you a chance to avert your eyes.

No really.

You think I'm joking?

No, I'm not.

This is your last chance.

OK, one more last chance, but just because I like you.

You were warned:

Black Friday: it's a shopper's market!

If you're shopping this Black Friday or over the Thanksgiving weekend, you're in luck: due to the slow economy, retailers are desperate enough for sales that they've slashed prices even more than usual. There's a round-up of the big day here, with some details listed below. If you can afford it, I urge everyone to do their patriotic duty and go out and buy. Or, even easier, stay at home and click. You might get some real deals.

Lisa Franzetta of PETA strips down in Moscow!

Plucky Lisa Franzetta and Lauren Bowey from PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals - recently stripped down in the middle of a snowy Moscow, Russia day to protest the fur trade:

lisa franzetta peta

Sexy brunette Lauren says about her cold weather ordeal:

Vicar gets potato wedged

Who hasn't had a similar experience? You're nude and hanging curtains, when you slip and fall on the kitchen table and - through the sheer force of your weight - a potato gets wedged up your "bottom". The latest victim to such accidents is an unnamed vicar in England (link) who rushed to assure everyone that it wasn't just part of some "sex game", as it obviously was not.

Fact Check: Did Bill Cosby really beat up a midget?

"I heard a tape recording of Bill Cosby beating up a midget (little person). I've always enjoyed his comedy and I've seen his books in the stores and considered buying one. But, if he's that mean I don't want to."


Councilman showers crowd with golden rays of hope

Whenever I see a Grateful Dead tribute band, I have a sudden urge to take a leak from a second-floor balcony onto the crowd below. I previously thought I was the only one, but now it turns out there's someone else who thinks the same way: Jersey City councilman Steve Lipski, who's since been charged with simple assault. Story here, his page here:

Jennifer Lopez, ass finish Malibu Triathalon

Congratulations to "Jenny from Zuma"! Earlier today, Jennifer Lopez and her ass finished the Malibu Triathalon in just under 2 and half hours. The grueling race was actually on Saturday and that featured a 1.5km swim, 40km bike ride, and a 10K run. JLo participated in the "celebrity-friendly" version today, which was just a half a mile swim, 18 mile bike ride, and 4 mile run. Despite the ease of the wimpy version that she finished, Lopez was ecstatic, thanking her fans, her husband Mark Anthony, and her ginormous ass.


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