Belly studs are dangerous! teen warns

A British art student who was in Germany taking pictures of cathedrals was in a car accident and suffered serious injuries due to her belly button piercing: her seat belt pushed it straight through her body almost to her spine. Now recovering in a Munich hospital, plucky Jessica Collins is warning other teens to remove their piercings or suffer the same fate...

Tom Cruise not building underground bunker

Through a coded space/time transmission, General Johnson Jameson informs me that, contrary to reports, freaky megastar Tom Cruise is not building a $10 million bunker underneath his Telluride, Colorado property. According to one source, this fictional bunker would be to protect Tom and his family against an alien attack (from outer space).

KFed to take Britney Spear children? (drugs, Gloria Allred)

Per Roger Friedman of Fox News, infamous lawyer Gloria Allred will be going to court on Monday with a witness who will claim that Britney Spears did drugs in front of her children. This may result in her losing custody, which would go to Kevin Federline. Developing...

Glacier Asses: dozens pose nude on Swiss glacier to fight global warming

Global Warming - the Bush/Rove plot to conquer the world through climate change - took a major hit over the weekend as dozens of Swiss and others stripped down and got naked for a photography shoot by Spencer Tunick at the Aletsch Glacier in Switzerland. Tunick is apparently famous for such events. While a couple of the young ladies on the video are attractive, the crowd shots are much less than attractive. Warning: very unattractive nude people.

Man turns missile launcher in to police (gun trade in)

Orlando, Florida police - knowing full well the violent nature of Floridians - recently conducted a gun exchange program: turn in your guns no-questions-asked, and receive a nifty pair of sneakers in return. One idiot peaceful citizen turned in a 1903 revolver worth over $1000, and got a pair shoes in return.

Danica McKellar shocker: Math Doesn't Suck

In a shocking revelation, former Wonder Years ("Winnie") co-star Danica McKellar has revealed that Math Doesn't Suck... in book form! The actress, it appears, is not just talented at the thespianism, but also graduated from UCLA with a degree in the numerically-oriented science, even going as far as authoring the so-called "Chayes-McKellar-Winn Theorem". She's even got a site about her book! While targeted at middle-school-aged girls (and thus empowering) I couldn't get past how adorable she looks on the cover:

Fun celebrity facts

- Science show host Beekman is not only gay, but a committed Communist.

- Fox News analyst Kimberly Guilefoyle occasionally enjoys wearing her lipstick in a chola-style, but only when she's not reporting. According to her, this accords her "epic LULZ".

Great Canadians: Alberta man "solves" checkers

Continuing with our Great Canadians series, we present Jonathan Schaeffer of the University of Alberta, who's recently solved the game of... checkers! Using a computer program, he's determined all the millions and millions of possible games in the game. Despite all that computing - and brain - power, he has yet to determine exactly why he did it and what if any use it could be to anyone.

Sputum for Katie Couric

I never thought I'd be posting about this, but a while back I was a writer/producer for CBS News. Around the newsroom, we all knew about Katie Couric's reputation. No, I'm not talking about her former cheerleading career, or her current cheerleading career for the Democratic Party.

I'm talking about the "s" word. We all knew Katie hated the word and would strike out against anyone who used it. With that knowledge throbbing in my mind, I presented Katie with a "special" script I'd written for her.

Who should replace Rosie O'Donnel on The View?


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