Bold Janice Hahn action saves L.A., Reggie the alligator

Known airhead and Los Angeles City Councilperson Janice Hahn has saved the city, sources say:

A 6 1/2-foot alligator believed to be the elusive "Reggie," who lurked in a city lake for two years, was wrestled into captivity Thursday and rushed to a zoo with TV news helicopters providing live coverage of its freeway journey at rush hour.

Paula Abdul breaks nose evading Chihuahua

BREAKING: Paula Abdul has broken her nose... trying to avoid stepping on her pet Chihuahua! (PETA members do not fret: the dog was unhurt).

This occured over the weekend, and she'll return to work tomorrow to tape American Idol. She is reportedly a little sore, but otherwise doing fine:

Abdul told TVs "Extra" that she tore cartilage on her nose, fractured her toe and bruised her arm and chest all because of her -- quote -- "little chubby Tulip."

Green river, keeps on glowing

A river in Russia has turned a bright, fluorescent green, sources say. And, they've got video of it. Supposedly, no one knows why that would be, and disinformatsia is being spread that a local distillery or garden center are to blame.

In actual fact, the river is in the watershed of the Tunguska incident, and no doubt space microbes unleased from the giant meteor that hit the Earth decades ago are even now polluting the Russian countryside and generating a fearsome race of superhuman, part alien beings who will enslave all mankind.

Katie Couric won't be fired until 2008?

At first you wonder, "why is Philadelphia Inquirer TV columnist Gail Shister doing a hit piece on Katie Couric?" Then, you roll with it:

CBS executives deny it, but there's a growing feeling within the network that Katie Couric is an expensive, unfixable mistake.

Oklahoma declares sun-warmed watermelons State Vegetable!

The state of Oklahoma has a lot of time on its hands. They've already declared strawberries to be their state fruit, but Rep. Joe Dorman (D-Rush Springs) is so beholden to the watermelon industry that he got that fruit declared... as the state vegetable! I haven't read the actual legislation, but my sources indicate that they're specifically refering to sun-warmed watermelon; whether hole-in or pre-hole wasn't clear.

Clock up: boy jailed 12 days over time change confusion

A 15-year-old sophomore at Hempfield Area High School in Pennsylvania was arrested for making a bomb threat last month. He was accused of phoning in the threat at 3:17am to a school hotline. Just one problem: one or more idiots at the school forgot to change the clocks at the time change, meaning that he'd actually called in an hour earlier and someone else had made the call.

Nope, Wayne Chiang isn't the Virginia Tech shooter

Some bloggers and Diggers think the Virginia Tech shooter is one Wayne Chiang, based on his website and his Facebook page.

After all, he's Asian, he's got a lot of guns, he says at the first link that he recently broke up with his girlfriend, and he apparently even lived in the same building or similar as the shooter or the first victim ("West AJ").

Adriana Dominguez: Law student in hot Playboy striptease!

Sexy, smart, and naked! Adriana Dominguez is a third-year law student at top-ranked Brooklyn Law School. But, not just any legal eagle... she's naked as well, and on the internet!

In fact, in January, Playboy TV featured her in their "Naked Happy Girls" segment where she, according to the NY Daily News ("It's juris-imprudence/Holy torts! Law student in erotic vid" by Veronika Belenkaya, link), "happily strips naked, gets spanked and holds gavels up to her bare breasts". Phwoar!

Enquirer: Boozing Katie Couric Collapses!

I transcribe the National Enquirer covers so you don't have to, and the latest edition says she went on a "shocking rampage". They also describe her "torment" at CBS, with this purported quote: "I MADE A BIG MISTAKE".

Plus! Her "battle with depression", and her "secret love" is "17 years younger!"

Falling Chinese woman saved by pile of shaving cream

A woman in Nanjing (China) was hanging out her laundry at an apartment building when she apparently reached out a bit too far... and fell off the building. Thankfully, a large pile of shaving cream which maintenance workers were cleaning from the building's sewage system (why it was in there isn't clear) saved her fall! Something about this story doesn't sound right, since the shaving cream was 8" (20cm) thick, and given its aerated nature one would think only something a few feet thick would work.


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