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Tom Cruise not building underground bunker

Through a coded space/time transmission, General Johnson Jameson informs me that, contrary to reports, freaky megastar Tom Cruise is not building a $10 million bunker underneath his Telluride, Colorado property. According to one source, this fictional bunker would be to protect Tom and his family against an alien attack (from outer space).

Britney Spears attacks paparazzi... with umbrella!

Oops! Britney Spears has gone nuts again:

britney spears umbrella bald

It happened like this:

Britney went to Kevin's house in the San Fernando Valley last night around 7 pm and rang the bell at his gate three times with no answer.

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